Dear Mr. Kanenwisher;
Having read your comic, I have realized the following:

I feel VERY sorry for you man. What can I say? You have never gotten laid, and unless some sort of miracle happens in which your whole mindset is changed you probably never will. Oh, don't worry, I know you're not going to get prostitutes, it's something a guy like you could never bring himself to do no matter how desperate he got.

Let me tell you something, when you think that an intimate moment can be as easily broken by suddenly realizing: FINALS ARE COMING UP! OMG OMG!!!! You're really making yourself out to be the most damaging jackass to ever exist ever. Intimate moments are not something that can be broken in such a way. Not only that, Scott is quite possibly the most harmful thing to women to have ever existed.

Lemme tell you something. Women like to be fucked. They love sex, the desire sex, and though I'm sure you've been told by women many times before that they can't hang out with you or kiss you because of finals... when a girl actually LIKES a guy, he is doing the greatest disservice to her by NOT fucking her. You heard me, when you ARE NOT FUCKING A GIRL THAT LIKES YOU ARE MENTALLY DAMAGING HER.

Seriously dude. If this is how you treat women in real life,should I ever meet a girl you're with, I will seduce her, and I will fuck her. Because whatever the fuck you're doing is just going to hurt her completely man, and I won't allow little dipshits like you to ruin women like that.

Sincerely, Darcy (aka God Of Gambling)

The above letter was in response to this comic in which a very romantic and tender moment that would have led to an evening of intimacy (and voyeuristic delight thereof by Kevin and Erin, hiding in the fourth panel's shadows) gets interrupted by Scott realizing that DUH FINALS ARE COMING UP AND WE DIDN'T STUDY! Look, buddy, there's time to study after you've spent some quality intimacy-time with your girl (and allowing your best friends to watch), not have a complete academia-derived spaz-out for the sake of the romantic comedy plot that's really neither romantic nor comedic. Furthermore, I can't really say whether or not Kennydun has yet - as of the year 2007 - found some girl who will allow him with her to engage in coitus, but I can attest that only a manchild who holds his V-card tightly to his chest as if it were his only tether above some sprawling void that threatens to consume him in some Neitzschian wet-dream would write, draw and publish a comic strip where his idealized self-insert would behave in such a manner. Since I (and much of the fandom) am of the strongly-held opinion that FOGClub is a Jungian window into Kanenwisher's own psyche; that he's projecting his own thoughts, feelings and neuroses into his art. As such, it is likewise the strongly-held opinion that - at least as of the time of publication of the above strip - Kanenwisher has not yet found someone with whom to "be intimate."

And for fuck's sake, only a total virgin would ever use the phrase "been intimate" when they're talking about seriously pounding some vage.